Oh, my goodness! Are you here because you think, maybe, you kind of regret giving your baby the name you did?
See, every once and a while, I check the statistics on my blog. I can see that some people hit right onto my “Baby Name Regrets” post from Google. (I can’t see the search term they used, though.) And, I’ve thought to myself, who is this person? I wonder if they are a parent with all kinds of emotions swirling around about their new baby—including the name they gave him or her.
Sure, I’ve written a guide on how to name a baby, but if you stumbled upon my blog because a little pang in your heart is making you think that you may regret your baby’s name, that guide is not going to help you right now.
Instead, I’m going to give you my best advice as if you were a friend (pretty much the only thing I’m qualified to do).
First, take a deep breath. What’s the name? Okay, what do you think is wrong with it? Alright, I’m not going to disagree with you, because you’re the parent and I’m not. And, this isn’t anything that cannot be handled. Wait, are you thumbing through your phone right now? Is it the middle of the night? Are you feeding your baby? Look, I’ve been there—midnight feeding, thumbing through my phone researching all kinds of things I should NOT have been reading about when I was sleep-deprived. (Seriously, don’t ask about the crazy shit I obsessed over.) Nothing sounds right when you’re in that hazy, sleep-deprived, post-partum phase of parenthood. Maybe you should just put your phone away. Go ahead. Just keep pressing the button that will make it shut off.
You’re still here. So, in the light of day, your baby’s name doesn’t sound right to you. What about the middle name? Do you like it? Call him or her by that name. Lots of people do it. First initial, middle name, and last name looks and sounds sophisticated, not to mention mysterious!
How about initials? What are they? T.J., M.J., K.K., D.D. (totally cute version of Deedee for a girl!)? Initials can work on a daily basis and are personable and fun! (I ended that with an exclamation mark just to prove my point.)
A nickname? There are plenty of people who go by nicknames that are unrelated to their given names. I once met a guy who went by the name of a piece of construction equipment. (I’m not going to say it here to maintain privacy.) I don’t know the story behind it, but he seemed to be getting along well in life. I’ve know other well-adjusted adults who go by nicknames related to their real names, too.
Trust me when I say that babies grow into their names. It’s weird calling a tiny human ANY name. They just arrived here! And, it’s not like they stuck out their hand and introduced themselves, which totally makes accepting a person’s name a lot easier. Some parents choose an “adult-sounding” name and yet the baby is cute, adorable, and, well, an impossibly tiny human being. I often think it must have been weird to see my parents address their baby as “Theresa.” (My name, if you didn’t catch the header of this blog.) My name seems grown-up to me and not very appropriate for a baby. (I can only assume I was cute and adorable.) Maybe my parents thought so too, because I had a slew of nicknames growing up.
Please recognize that you just may be in that post-partum fog. Again, I’ll reference the irrational Google searches I conducted and fretted over when both my kids were fresh from the womb. But also, rest assured that legal name changes ARE possible. Here’s how to change a name in my area. (Who knew that it was that local of a process?) If you know in your heart that you need to change your baby’s name, try searching “how do I change my baby’s name in (your state).”
Good luck! And, don’t worry. Shit happens. All that matters is how we handle it. And, if that gorgeous baby you just BIRTHED (or just became the PROUD father/mother/parent to—I’m trying to cover all the ways you can become a parent here) is any indication, you are absolutely doing it right!