Baby Name Regrets

Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman

Baby names and regret? Yikes. I’m not sure I would have ever thought it was possible to regret—or at least have second thoughts—about your baby’s name, but Pamela Druckerman discusses in her book Bringing Up Bébé her inner turmoil after naming her twins (boys, fraternal).

We settle on Joel—whom we’ll only ever call Joey—and Leo, who defies all attempts at nicknames. …Amazingly, I still find time to be neurotic. I’m obsessed with the idea that we’ve given the boys the wrong names, and that I should go back to the town hall and switch them. I spend my few leisure minutes ruminating on this. …Before the little ceremony [circumcision], I confess to the mohel that I fear I’ve given the boys the wrong names and that I may need to switch them. He doesn’t offer me any spiritual advice. But being French, he explains that the bureaucracy I’d need to go through to do this would be a labyrinthine and excruciating. Somehow this information, plus the consecration of the circumcisions, erases my doubt. After the ceremony, I never worry about their names again.

Now that I reread this passage, I don’t know whether Druckerman means she wanted to flip flop her twins’ names (Joey becomes Leo and Leo becomes Joey) or if she means she wanted to give them completely different names. I can find the humor in the situation: the self-admitted neurotic nature of this obsession. Been there and done that postpartum!

I can’t help to wonder, though, have any other parents regretted or had second thoughts on the name they gave their baby? What would you do about it—change it legally, call them by a nickname? Would you ever admit it? Do you have a “friend” who has experienced this? (Wink!)

30 Around the Internet

Since turning 30, I’ve noticed a couple of articles or blog posts about the age. And then I googled and discovered another thing or two. Let’s take a look, shall we?

*Oh Joy posted about things worth splurging on in your 30s even though she’s only 33 or 34 (she states she turned 33 last year, so I don’t know if she’s had her birthday this year or not). She emphasized quality and everlasting products. Which I can get on board with, especially with her recommended pots and pans. And the boots? Done! I feel this way about regular shoes, too. I try to buy timeless, classic shoes that I can wear day in and day out. Not that I spend an amazing amount on my shoes, but let’s just say I’m not buying them from Payless. And, there’s nothing wrong with that. Been there, done that and I’m not too proud to go back.

*I stumbled upon a slideshow LearnVest put together about 10 Things Everyone Should Know How to Do by 30. Count me on board for “how to budget” and “how to write professionally” (how could I not being a writer by trade?). Nothing’s more empowering than knowing how to change a flat tire. But then, nothing’s more comforting than knowing you have family and friends and maybe even a roadside assistance service to come change that tire for you.

“How to swim,” #8 on their list, is a let down for me. No, even though it was on my Thirty Before 30 list, I didn’t do it. But, I am self-aware of my skills. I always wear my life jacket when kayaking. It’s not just “within reach” because I know if a I’m going into the drink, I’m going to need the immediate assistance of a floatation device. And, trust me, if you’re flailing about in a lake, pool, river, whatever, your best bet is for me to get the attention of a lifeguard or call 911. All bets are off for your dog. The only thing sadder than a person drowning is a second person drowning in an attempt to save the first.

“How to move on,” the next item on the list seems smart and as if it could be a resolution for newly 30 year olds. The last one, “how to strike balance between work and life,” well, that just seems wise beyond my years.

*Googling, I found this fun “What to Expect” piece on McSweeney’s. I can check off a lot of these. As for the filing of taxes, I feel like I could do it, but I’ve known myself for 30 long years. And I know that if I attempt to file my own taxes it will result in frustration, if not a hissy fit. Why put myself through that? What none of these lists have is “know what you like and don’t like to do. Do more of the former and less of the latter.”

That’s all I have for now, but I have about 10 more years to ponder this decade.