4th Grade Musings: October 20, 1992

To learn about the origin of my 4th Grade Musings series, go here. Spelling and punctuation have not been altered. Notes are my present self’s.

This is a recipe that is called Lizard Skin Cookies.(1)

1 cup of sugar

500 pounds of lizard skin (2)

500 skinned lizards (3)

1 cup of water

2 sticks of butter

1 large bowl (4)

Put the cup of water in the bowl. Then put the cup of sugar in. Mix that till very thin. Then put the 2 sticks of butter in. Then put the eyeballs and the bloody parts of the 500 skined lizards in.(5) Then roll the dough into small balls. Pre heat the oven on 5000 degrees for 10 hours.(6) Mean while put the lizads skins over the raw cookies. Put the cookies in to the oven cook for 5 min.(7)

(1) It’s at this point that I’m beginning to think that if my parents had had fewer than 6 children, they may have sought counseling for me. Alas, when you’re 1 of 6 kids and born in the middle, a lot of things go under the radar.

(2) Pounds! POUNDS!

(3) Perhaps 1 lizard’s skin weighs 1 pound? Some complex math may be at work here.

(4) I’m going to say it probably needs to be a ginormous bowl.

(5) Oh goodness. At least I know if my kids end up writing this kind of stuff, it won’t be out of the ordinary, just genetic.

(6) Unbelievable, yet very thorough.

(7) Per the illustration, these are delicious cookies.

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