One day a guy invented football. That’s how I got made. I’m of corse the first football.
It was scary at the very first game. I though I would die that day. Well any way I was scared.
The crowd was cheering. The football players were grolwing. I was crying.(1)
Then the whistle blew. Someone threw me. Boy! was that the funest day of my life.(2)
It wasn’t the scary after all. I said to myself. I loved playing football so much that I wanted to play after the game.(3)
So now you know that being a football it isn’t so bad after all. Any way who cares if the get kicked every where, like the face, arm, hand, leg, and the head. Well it was fun telling you my life story. (4)
(1) Holy shit. This string of parallel sentences is knocking my literary socks off!
(2) I’ve been a life-long fan of the mid-sentence exclamation point. And, exclamation points in general.
(3) The existential crisis I created here is pretty deep. It’s a football that wants to play football? But, why play yourself when you can just be yourself. Whoa.
(4) And, it was fun reading it almost 24 years later.