You Are What I Bake For You: The Skinny Chick

After my inaugural “You Are What I Bake For You” post, I was asked what I would make for someone who “doesn’t like desserts.” The question was posed as a challenge, but really, baking for the Skinny Chick is quite simple. Here’s why:

You never see her eat and you know with good certainty she doesn’t work out, either. Oh, at the office, as co-workers are gathering to head out for lunch, she’ll talk about how she “just ate,” apparently while no one was around. You have your suspicions. At birthday gatherings, there is a lot of shuffling of dessert plates—passing to those who don’t have a slice of cake yet, and “Oh, I think so-and-so over there needs one.” Shuffle. Shuffle. Pass-pass. Lunchtime buffets are enjoyed by neatly dolloping food onto a single plate with a good 1 inch border in between servings. She is the only person in America who actually loses money when eating at a buffet. She’ll bemoan how “tight” her pants feel even though she has never shopped for adult-sized clothes in her life.

For this person, you must bake the most decadent, butter-filled, topped-with-thick-frosting dessert possible: Chocolate Guinness Cake. Your goal is not to fatten up the Skinny Chick. No, she’s not going to eat a baked good no matter what you create, so you might as well bake something you want to eat. Enjoy it while demonstrating that even if you indulge every now and then, the world isn’t going to grow thunder thighs overnight. And, it’s okay to love who you are and what you eat–that’s what Inner Desserts are all about!

Guinness Cake

Please! Please, ignore the dinosaurs! Really, they’re unnecessary for this cake when baked for this purpose.

Chocolate Guinness Cake Recipe:

(Of course, this is Nigella Lawson’s recipe–someone photocopied it for me from one of her books, so I have measurements in the “United States customary units.” I also cut out some stuff–to get to the point.)

For the cake:

1 cup Guinness

1 stick plus 2 tablespoons unsalted butter

3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa

2 cups superfine sugar (regular ol’ granulated will do just superfine here)

3/4 cup sour cream

2 eggs

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

2 cups all-purpose flour

2 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

Preheat oven to 350F and butter a 9″ springform pan (as you can see, a bundt pan works just as well). Pour the Guinness into a saucepan add the butter and heat until the butter’s melted. Then whisk in the cocoa and sugar. Beat the sour cream with the eggs and vanilla in a separate bowl and then pour into the saucepan with the beer mixture. Whisk in the baking soda. Pour the batter into the greased pan and bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour. Cool completely in the pan.

For the frosting:

8 ounces cream cheese

1 1/4 cups confectioner’s sugar

1/2 cup heavy cream

Whip the cream cheese until smooth. Sift in the confectioner’s sugar and beat together. Add the cream, beating until it’s spreadable. Then, spread it onto the cooled cake.


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